and it hit me

today driving home, i was listening to the radio (news natrually)
and all of a sudden it hit me
everythign from the past three weeks that has stressed and unslept and allergied me and my eyes to where i loko like a kid with bad goth makeup
hit me

and i cried

the bitter perdition of it all whacked me in the face with a baseball bat. my own personal world has been permentaly altered as has the greater world around me.

what got me is the sheer fact that i am unable to truly do anything to stop or reverse it. that feeling of helplessness that comes with watching predation of the weak. shell shock.

jw is still here, he made it to his office on canal yesterday, the office was fine, some water but fine. my uncles are back in harahan, my grandmother is goign to head there as soon as it stablizes a little bit. aunt puggie and brian are settled into their camp on toledo bend and dont seem to want to leave. and we're takign care of my cousin's dog for some time until she too returns from the black hole